It’s that time of year again—the time when everyone seems to want money from you. I’ve never understood why, during the most expensive season of the year—when people are spending on entertaining, gift buying, new decorations, and travel, in addition to their regular bills—companies, nonprofits, and individuals all seem to “beg” for money. Who actually has extra funds to give at this time? It seems like there’s a widespread assumption that the average person receives a Christmas bonus. I’ve been working for 40 years and have never gotten one. Does anyone still even get end-of-year bonuses?
It’s not just the fact that people ask for money; it’s the guilt that comes with realizing I have nothing to give. Just yesterday, while waiting for a bus in single-digit temperatures with a brutal wind chill and wet snow, my heart broke when I saw a young man at the bus stop. He was wearing what looked like pajama pants and soaking wet tennis shoes, with no winter coat—just a cotton sweater that was long enough to cover his hands (but no gloves).
I felt panic trying to figure out how to help him. I wanted to take him shopping for clothes. I thought about inviting him to a store where I could buy him a coat, gloves, socks, pants, and shoes—whatever he needed. I reasoned that giving him money might not ensure that it would go towards clothes. I never considered that he might have a drug or alcohol issue; I actually thought he could be a school kid, but you know sometimes there are circumstances beyond their control and giving money is not the answer. I was desperate to try and help this person.
But, he got on the next bus and that was that.
I’ve been thinking about going back to the bus stop to see if he shows up at the same time, but here’s the issue: I don’t have any money to buy him what I want to buy, I don’t have a car to meet him at a store, and I can’t wait at the bus stop another day to look for him because I’m at work during that time. I am unable to help him on several fronts, not just because I lack the finances. I lack the means on several fronts. But not the desire, that’s for sure.
Living in the city, I encounter homeless people daily. (I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before.) I saw “Dawn” on the subway today, trying to sell whatever she had, like gloves, hand warmers, and socks. Last week, I also ran into Dawn at the subway station, where she convinced me to give her the gloves I was wearing. She claimed they were nicer than any she had (she had a bag full of gloves she was trying to sell). So, I gave them to her. But today, when I saw her eyeing my prized Lands’ End below-freezing gloves, I stood firm. There was no way she was getting those. She also eyed me up for jewelry that she thought I should give her. She actually lectured me when I told her I don’t carry money. She advised me that I should carry cash so I have it to give to others.
Where is my giving spirit? Shouldn’t I be willing to give her the clothes off my back? I seriously thought about giving that young man at the bus stop the coat off of my back, but I didn’t think he would take it; and I didn’t know how I would explain it to my son, who bought me the coat, why I no longer had it. I want to be giving but I rationalize with my non-giving spirit way too much. I’m no good.
I feel both hardened by their struggles and heartbroken by the different levels of “lack” I see in others. It’s a conundrum to hear myself say that I don’t have “it,” as I have everything I need (well, except for a car). Yet, I don’t feel like I have anything extra to offer.
Can you feel my guilt? It’s the giving season, I want to give, but not necessarily literally the clothes off my back (or hands).
Well, I brought this up to the Universe. It’s in the book. Here’s a short excerpt, with the response I received:
It’s hard to give when I don’t feel I have money to give. Does anyone else in the world struggle with this issue that your answer could help with?
An answer to ease your guilt? Guilt is man-made. Not God-made. Not higher-self made. Man-made. There are numerous ways to help your fellow man. How many times have you gotten comments when you simply smile at someone? You have brightened their day! When you hold the door open, hold the elevator, allow someone to cross the street, give someone directions, compliment someone’s shoes! Offer prayers, condolences, friendship, love and laughter. These offerings are worth a thousand times more than money. You give your “good” essence, your “good” energy. You will know when you have to give someone money, and you will, and with a glad heart at that.
You can give of yourself, your energy, and your love, in every moment of every day and it doesn’t cost a cent. Giving encompasses so much more than money. Do not give donating money a second thought. When you are in a position to share money then do that, in the meantime you share what you can. Be the friend, be the mom, the dad, be the co-worker, the brother, the sister, the aunt, the uncle, be the smile. And yes, we believe you are not alone in this perceived dilemma.
xoxo
If you would like to ask the Universe a question please email Lynn Carol. I will post the question and answer on here, anonymously if requested.
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