I quit

Here’s something to think about. Well, it’s something I’m thinking about anyway. First of all, the premise of this missive is that I live alone. I spend a lot of time alone.

As I’ve mentioned, I work 3 days a week, but before work I’m alone, when I come home from work I’m alone, and on my days off I’m usually alone at least one of the 4 days I’m off, if not more. I’m comfortable being alone and often find it inconvenient to try to meet up with friends. Meeting up typically involves a hassle with transportation since I have no car. I either feel guilty for them having to go out of their way to pick me up and drop me off, or I’m back on the bus—and sometimes I just need a break from that hour bus ride (it’s an hour no matter where I go).

Now that said, I do often enjoy the bus ride when it takes me on a new route through neighborhoods I haven’t ever been in. Then I feel like a tourist, and actually, that is kinda fun. But anyway… alone. That’s what I am.

A friend recently asked me if I get lonely. She laughs about how I paused for a second and then answered, “heck no.” And I would not say I’m lonely. But I do often wish I had a friend to do stuff with who lived close by so we could just go grab a bite to eat.

But—I go alone to eat. And the bartender at my favorite restaurant knows my name and brings me my Diet Coke without asking. And that’s okay, too.

So, over the 4th of July weekend, I was coerced into taking a day off of work and spending 3 overnights at a friend’s (Jean’s) house. She lives close by. There were three of us close friends—me, Jean and Steph—who stayed together at her house.

I was dreading the event. I was afraid it would be overwhelming socially. As someone who tends to stick to my routines, I didn’t expect to enjoy myself and even came up with a backup plan for how I could escape early—either by calling my niece to come get me or ordering an Uber.

But then this happened: I had fun.

I had so much fun, and it felt so comfortable that when it came time to come home, I didn’t want to leave. I actually got teary. It felt so comfortable being there with those friends, who I’ve been close with for 50 years. Seriously—I’ve known Jean for over 50 years and Steph for about 40.

I realized what was so special about this weekend was that I felt like myself. The self I was before I became this recluse. Before I sold my car. Before I relegated myself to this life of staying home.

I felt like the self I was before I got into this channeling business and all it entails. These two friends, who I’ve known all these years, have no idea that I do this channeling thing. No idea. So I didn’t have to talk about it. I didn’t have to talk about the book. I didn’t have to talk about how things aren’t coming together like I hoped, that I’m not being catapulted in a different direction as I had hoped.

I didn’t even think about it.

I floated in Jean’s pool. We ate. We went out to dinner every night. I had money to pay for everything. We laughed. We got sunburned. I was myself.

And it was refreshing.

It was comfortable.

And I miss the person I was. I forgot about her, the old me—and now that we were reacquainted, I think I like her.

When I came home, I was reluctant to get back into any of this writing and channeling business. Thinking about “being” and how to let go of this or that or all the directions that all the spiritual gurus (Mike Dooley, Sara Landon, pick one) they all tell us what we should be doing, or not doing. Including my book. I tell myself those things too. And well, I’m just tired of it. I don’t want to think about any of it (although here I am writing about this week). But that’s how I was feeling when I came home from that weekend.

The next weekend, after the 4^th,  I actually called off a day of work (for various reasons) and spent the day with Jean again, and her family, at Picklesburg (in Pittsburgh), and spent the night again, and we went fly fishing the next day!  I mean, talk about living life. Living, that is what is missing from my life. Living life.

And so, what to do about it?

Lemme ask:

Q. What do I do about this? Can I quit trying to be enlightened? Can I quit trying to “let go” and “do” and “be” and all that we’re being told about moving into this next phase of consciousness? Can I just quit? And can I please get a car again so I can have my life back? Without having to work 17 jobs to pay for it? This week I’ve been told was a week to “listen” – I’m listening.

A. Yes, please quit!. These weekends showed you what life is like when you do quit trying. Quit trying!! Quit thinking about it. Quit figuring it out. Quit actively letting go. What you did over the weekend was let it go without trying to. And how great was that!

Also, what this weekend was showing you is the person that you were, is the person that you are, and you are a fun, happy friend (among other things). You are someone people want to be around. And you don’t even have to try. You are Being without trying to Be. You are all of you.

It seems like you are having various life reviews to help identify yourself to yourself. To help solidify who you are. For instance, the thoughts around the experience of your mother, and your connection to Virginia. Your review of your ancestor lineage. Your weekend with friends and letting go of worries, and consequently remembering you’re a fun friend. Spending time having fun, away from work, away from your chair.

Doesn’t it seem like the Universe is trying to show you something here?  Trying to put a mirror in front of you to remind you who you are, who you have become, what you want to let go of, and what you want to hang on to.

You are not a recluse, but you also do not mind being alone. You enjoy friends and you enjoy solitude. They are not mutually exclusive. They are a conglomerate. You are a conglomerate. You are a writer too. It is part of who you are. You are many parts.

You do not have to quit being enlightened. You have to quit trying to be enlightened. The wisdom you need for soul growth is inside you. You are being shown parts of yourself that you either want to keep or want to shed. Sounds like time with Jean is a keep. That’s all this is. Finding and remembering who you are.

So, yes, please quit! Please quit trying.

Q. And the car? Don’t avoid the subject.

A. Forget about it. 😉

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This message made me think about how all of life is trying to show us something. For instance, I have had questions about who I am at this stage of life. Who am I without my mother? Who am I without my kids? Who am I as a retired person? And it seems like the Universe is trying to show me who I am through all these various experiences. Like it says above, like a mirror to help me answer my questions. So my suggestion (so it’s not all about me) is that your life, dear reader, will be doing the same thing. The experiences you are going through are answering something that you have been questioning. Anything that is put in front of us is answering something, or is showing us something that we’ve been questioning. The experience is there to help us or show us something.

I mean isn’t that cool?

And now for AI’s take on today’s message:

Blog Summary: “Quit Trying to Be Enlightened (Seriously)”

This heartfelt reflection reminds us that spiritual growth isn’t always about rituals, gurus, or letting go on purpose—it’s often about living, laughing, and reconnecting with the parts of ourselves we forgot were still there. Through weekends with lifelong friends, unexpected joy, and a break from “trying,” we’re shown how ease and authenticity emerge when we stop chasing transformation and simply be.

It’s a message for anyone feeling overwhelmed by spiritual striving, identity shifts, or the pressure to evolve:

• You don’t have to “do” enlightenment.
• You already carry the wisdom you’re seeking.
• Your life—through relationships, routines, and honest emotions—is constantly offering guidance.

This blog invites readers to reflect on what their own experiences are trying to show them. Whether it’s solitude, joy, resistance, or rest—everything placed in your path may be answering a question your soul has quietly asked.

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If you would like to ask me or the Universe a question, ask: Ask a Question

If you would like to buy my book, Back to Being, go: here