You’re not the boss of me. With respect, I’ve got this…

The idea of generational disappointments and generational trends in shaping our lives has been popping up on my radar recently.  I first read about it last week in a book I was reading, The Midnight Library, and then I kept seeing it referred to in various posts. That must mean something, right?  I decided to Ask the Universe for this week’s blogs.  Though this particular blog post is deeply personal, I’m sharing it because I believe my experiences—the themes, questions, struggles, and realizations—are ones we all encounter in some form.

Q. Is Generational disappointment and defeat an issue for blocking my ability to succeed?

A. All life, every life, is filled with disappointment and defeat and success and achievements. The lens through which you perceive life is generational or at least can be. And this lens can be adjusted in any moment.

Do you feel your Grandad thought his life was a failure because he didn’t achieve fame in Hollywood? Or was he a successful home builder and community member, husband, father, member of his church, which was where he found true happiness? Simple pleasures were best for him.

Did your Grandmother find happiness in her success in the Richmond area? Wasn’t she considered a star in that area? Did she have to live in New York to achieve that same level of personal success?

Did your mom ever regret any of her life decisions? Her goal was spiritual fulfillment. Nothing else mattered to her (well, many things mattered), but for purposes here, she led a life of spiritual discovery.

Now your other Grandma, she certainly had her life of struggles and disappointments. Many. But she also had humor and resilience. In hindsight a star. From an orphan in Poland to a home in Florida. A successful life lived.

If you view these lives as disappointments, that is because your perspective is skewed and calibrated to society’s definition of success. Your grandfather and grandmother were a huge success in living lives of creative fulfillment. Your father felt a failure after the loss of his business, which were the pivotal growing years you spent with him, and no doubt had an effect on your view of success. But it was during your last phone call with him, you told him how proud he should be of himself with his creative accomplishments. You told him that because you believed it, and in his last hours on Earth, you reminded him of his successes. So we would ascertain that you know in your soul what success truly is and were able to share that with your father. If you feel you are holding onto a definition of success based on his “corporate” experience, look again. You knew what was important, and you knew it in your heart. You know it now.

What you have in your ancestral lineage is fortitude, is resilience, is success and creative fulfillment in unexpected ways. In bucking the system, being true to yourself, but not particularly to societal norms. You have witnessed the danger of addiction you have broken that pattern. You continue to break ancestral patterns, and you will continue to do so.

Your ancestral lineage gives you the strength and fortitude to buck the system, and you get your wisdom from knowing that nothing is set in stone. You learned this from your ancestral lineage through experience: life changes, and you pave new roads.

Ancestors are fertilizer for your growth, but you are your own seed. You become your own plant. Use their experience as fertilizer, not suffocating, but as nutrients. Grow from, learn from, and keep reaching for the sky. You are blooming. Learn how much water and sun you need. Use your ancestors’ strengths and rise above the perceived limitations.

Be the fertilizer for others while you are alive. Spread happy seeds.

xoxox

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If you want to explore perspectives on generational patterns, here are some links. It’s definitely a captivating rabbit hole!

I like this one the best: Karma and Generational Karma: The Spiritual Impact on Families Across Time | Spirit Connection

Cohort Effect: Generational Influences in Psychology

Generational Trauma, Attachment, and Spiritual/Religious Interventions

If you would like to ask the Universe a question go here: Ask the Universe